My Road or High Road?

People are difficult to deal with.

We are all difficult to deal with at some point.

Keep that in mind as you read this one, today is more of a lesson.

I have worked for over 10 years and most of my jobs have involved customer service.

I've learned a lot on how to deal with upset people who are rude and like I said, difficult.

I also have spent 3 years off and on substitute teaching 7th grade to 12th-grade kids. Talk about learning patience!

What I’ve learned is that people who are upset, or treating you poorly, aren't mad at you most times.

They're hitting you with all that negativity because you’re the one they can hit in that moment.

Don’t take it personally.

These people actually want to unleash the fury on their boss, but they hit you instead.

Or maybe they got into it with their spouse and then got cut off in traffic too.

By the time they reach you, you are the lucky punching bag they choose to beat up.

But how do you not let these people ruin your day?

How do you get unfair, rude, or mean treatment, and still enjoy the remainder of your day?

I have often struggled to find that answer in those moments myself!

I have a quick mental trick I use that I’ll share in your next step.

Verses to Digest:

“A soft answer turns away wrath,

But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 15:1

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Romans 12:21

Your next step:

Imagine someone today treats you rudely.

Or maybe a friend gets short with you and is disrespectful.

Or any variation of these situations happens and you are tempted to let it ruin the rest of your day.

Here’s how I solve this, one word:

Empathy.

I know you might be thinking,

"But Lowery, how in the world do you show empathy to a mean person? Especially when they are totally wrong and you don’t deserve that mean treatment?'

I’m glad you asked.

When someone is totally wrong in how they are treating me, I do a mental exercise where I “expand their story”.

I assume they are having the worst day of their year.

I think to myself:

This lady is being sour towards me because she just got some terrible news about a close friend's health.

Or her rude attitude is because everyone in her family disrespects her. She works hard but she feels attacked at home.

Or maybe her boss just chewed her out and she is dealing with that emotional stress.

Then I think:

Man, I have been there before in my own way.

I know I definitely needed some extra help and grace in my difficult moments!!

Once I get to that place mentally, I’m able to have empathy towards her.

So instead of firing back with a rude response, I actually am able to be kind.

I get to share the goodness and light her day is lacking.

Then, I also free myself up from never stressing about it for the rest of my day. I let go of any grudge I want to hold towards her because I already showed her empathy and chose to take the high road.

Could she just be a miserable person? Maybe, but that's not the point.

The point is you not allowing someone's actions ruin your day.

It's also about you taking actions of kindness that might help brighten their day.

That's taking the high road and not "my road".

Because trust me, there have been times I have taken "my road" and I made their day worse, and I ruined my entire day too.

The high road is better for everyone, but it's up to you.

Will you stoop to their level? Or will you brighten their day and your day?